sigh

listening to linkin park - numb

i was talking to han at the training ground when i heard someone call his name..

i thought it was a joke..

but i turned my head.. and he was standing right there..

all my organs seem to have scrunched up at that very moment.. it feels terrible.. really terrible..

i dont know how to face him.. didnt even say hi..

i just went around keeping every target and padding that i can find.. until nothing was left and i had to sit down near him..

theres so much that i wanted to tell him.. but my jaws refuse to move.. i hate myself for not even saying hi..

i cried on the way home.. still crying now..

i really hate myself so much all of a sudden..