unhappy day

listening to hoobastank - the reason

im feeling kind of depressed now so this entry is gonna be pretty gloomy.. my day sucks..

pretty prone to mood swings these days ( no it has got a.b.s.o.l.u.t.e.l.y nothing to do with PMS)..

cant help but feel that im just a stupid ass in a class of smart asses.. i agree with cy that this course is not for people like us..

im feeling more and more retarded as the days go by.. id be left no self confidence and pride in no time..

attachment at micro today was terrible.. my day really sucks..

I TOLD WENDY THAT BETA HEMOLYSIS IS GREEN..

god someone please shoot me with a gun..

i feel so guilty for the trauma brought to wendy.. she really had the freaked out look on her face when she heard my answer.. im not exaggerating..

note: alpha hemolysis is GREEN. beta is clearing of the blood agar. its a 1+1 kind of question for people in the lab.

AND I GOT IT WRONG..

someone just kill me...

***

wendy showed me a set of plates for a patient infected with burkholderia.. it showed pure growth of colonies on all the plates..

i was wondering why the plates were put into a biohazard bag separately from the rest...

when wendy told me that the patient had already passed away..

very sad isnt it? drew blood during admission.. culture was done.. but patient's already dead by then..

it was the first time i stopped to think about such scenarios.. i wonder how often does this happen..

i was reminded of the time when my grandfather was hospitalised with pneumonia.. there was an old lady in the same ward who died.. her family were all gathered by her bedside the night before i went home..

when i went to visit my grandfather the next day morning.. the crowd was gone.. and the bed was empty.. heard from another patient that the old lady passed away in the middle of the night..

i dont know why.. but i was really affected by the plates that i saw today.. call me emotional but thats just me..

***

the plates and the spastic answer that i gave really brought a great deal of disturbance to me emotionally today..

plus the micro lab was extremely noisy today.. before lunch.. after lunch.. freaking hell noisy all the way..

and of course knowing me.. you guys should have an idea of what happened next..

i blew up.. in front of my classmates..

***

did i mention that my day sucks?