listening to andy lau - bing yu

got something to correct from my previous entry.. amazing race is on hold this week.. so i missed nothing yesterday.. really forgot about it until daniel told me.. fancy me getting sad over nothing.. dumb.

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took the first half of the training for yesterday.. its the first time i did it for thursday lesson.. and it felt so different from the sat one.. people actually listen to what i say.. i could run together with them cos i dont have to worry about them trying to ''cheat'' by trying to run smaller rounds.. i didnt have to tell them to keep quiet during foot drills..

so i conclude that poom belt and coloured belt kids have a world of a diff although they are all around the same age..

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kicked his wrist yesterday while demo-ing something.. his wrist was ok but my instep immediately swell.. EXACTLY the same spot that got injured during the nationals..

got 13 patches of blue blacks all over now.. plus a really bad swollen purple feet..

that was taken from my blog entry from august.. EXACTLY the same place man.. EXACTLY..

man im so pissed.. how could something so coincidental happen? and of all people.. i got injured when i kicked him.. its like.. i feel terrible that my feet is like that.. and even more so because i kicked him..

i dont know what the hell is happening to me.. i ACTUALLY kicked him..

hes fine of course.. i dont know he got bones made of titanium or what.. i just feel bad throwing kicks at him.. its just so not me..

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didnt go to school today because i think wearing superstar for the whole day in lab is like commiting suicide for my instep..

so.. i rested at home.. i dont know if the resting helped in any way.. but the swelling just fucking refuse to spread out.. and im getting really pissed because ive tried hot and cold therapy but nothing works..

man i cant stand the sight of the big lump.. ive bandaged it to help me keep my temper in check..

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im starting to get so frustrated with my weakness.. i keep feeling dizzy for no reason whatsoever recently.. got a really bad attack while i was helping my mum to carry stuff home.. i got to grab her hand really tight to prevent myself from collapsing.. i think i frightened her.. although i guessed i frightened myself pretty badly too..

i just hope it wont happen again.. im REALLY starting to be very very pissed..

with myself.