Closure

Listening to x japan - say anything

After dragging the heavy baggage on my heart for over a year, I have finally let it all go last night.

What he said broke my heart but at least I know the sadness is temporary and I can finally walk out of the circle and move on with my life. After crying for hours last night, I woke up with swollen eyes and a heart that feels lighter without the emotional baggage. I told myself that would be the last time I cry for him.

What was in doubt was cleared up and I know one thing is for sure now.

He is not worth it.

What I mean is, I should not waste my time on him anymore since it is leading me to nowhere. He is still my best guy friend, with all the good qualities I wanted but never had. I still like him and I cant change this fact overnight but we will always be just good friends.

I have finally realised that the reason for my unhappiness most of the time is him. now that I have let it go, I wont be so badly affected by his words and actions anymore.

I have kept the ring and the photo in my wallet back to the box where they belong. I have changed the wallpaper of my phone to a photo of my favourite biscuits that I took. I have changed my display picture to a photo of my favourite running shoes.

I am going for a hair cut and eyebrow trim with cui wen today to freshen myself up a little to prepare for work next week. Mum took off to go out with me tomorrow. I can finally fulfill my promise of treating her to the hazelnut ice cream that we both love.

Now that I dont have to study anymore (at least for the next 2 years) and I have cleared everything up with him, I dont think there is anything with the ability to cause me so much agony and frustration anymore.

***

To my friends (reading or not, I still want to say thanks)

cui wen: how can I ever thank you enough for staying up til the wee hours to listen to your poor friend cry hysterically over the phone. Besides, we all know how much sleep means to you and your complexion.

gwen: hey dear, thanks for being there for the past year whenever I went into one of my 'down' times.. I am sorry the australia trip has got to be put off because of my work but we will go there together one day. My promise.

py and ada: Thanks for the listening ears and the valuable advices and encouragement. They really mean a lot to me.

And to everyone, thanks for encouraging me to clear things up with him. I finally did it, and I did it with no regrets.

=)