Wrung rag

The title of this post is what I'm feeling like right now.

This past week has been.. I don't know whats the right word to use for it.

Gramps fainted in the toilet, fell and hit himself on the head on Monday night. To describe everything in a sentence, there was a lot of blood everywhere.

I felt like shit throughout the ordeal even though I looked emotionless when mum and him started crying.

I worried myself nuts with negative thoughts because u'll never know what can happen when old people fall. I felt guilty for not paying more attention to him earlier when he told me he wasn't feeling too well. I felt guilty from neglecting him the most ever since I started school.

At the hospital, I was overwhelmed with the stress of studies and paying off the bills. I wondered why I left that place for studies. The hint of regret started creeping in.

I wondered why I went from being a very confident and fast worker to being a beaten, stupid brainless retarded student. For a lower salary. At the expense of all the free time I used to have after work.

It just sucked.

At that moment, I don't know why it happened or why I did it but I SMSed the ice mountain telling him that I just needed someone to talk to at the moment. Somehow I just felt better after talking to him.

I'm surprised that at my worst state, he is the person that I wanted to talk to.