I'm Back

It has been a few weeks since exams ended.. I've been doing basically nothing and I like life as it is now.

The nagging fear that I'll flunk one of the papers is still omnipresent. The fear of flunking a paper is intensified by ten folds at my age. I've made plans to settle down, to own a home with the favorite boy, and the fear of having to change what has been planned because of an F grade is a horrible feeling.

Priorities have shifted man. I just want to get my ass outta school and start earning money because the financial situation at home is at the breaking point.

Note I said earning money and not working because honestly, the money is all that I care about. I've lost half of the war psychologically because I've been posted to a school that I do not want to go to.

For those who are going to say that I'm picky about schools, I'm clarifying that if you divide the whole of Singapore into two halves, namely the East and the West, there are only two schools that I do not want to go to in the West... and I somehow landed up at one of them. If only striking the jackpot comes this easily as well...

Amanda told me that if I can survive in this school, I can survive in any school. I'm keeping this in mind. I will say this to myself in the mirror everyday at 5+ am in the morning when the time comes.

Unhappy stuffs aside, I'm flying off to Taiwan in 4 days' time. This is probably my last trip overseas til many years later. It's going to be a challenge financially but I've set aside enough money to go on this trip since the idea came about last year.

This is actually one of the few rare moments where I'm 'sober' enough to justify that I actually have set aside money specifically for this trip and that it's not going to eat into what I have portioned out for paying all the stupid bills that have been dumped on me. Usually it's a lot of self hate and guilt that I should not have gone for this trip in lieu of the impending crash of my bank account.

Again, I would like to clarify that I am not poor because I spend like there's no tomorrow. I probably have more money in my bank account than most of the people my age because I scrimped and saved and starved and overworked to save up before I went to university. I'm not exaggerating. Any one of my ex colleagues can vouch for the starving and overworking part.

The money is there but it's all locked up because of the "affordable housing" (quoting a certain someone on TV) that I have to pay for every month. Affordable my ass.

This brings me to the next point, the GE.

I won't get to vote because I'll be in Taiwan, I'm bummed, but I hope Singaporeans will vote with their heads, not their hearts.

I'm not to say who is better/right. I support certain people from both sides (ruling party and the opposition), while I can't say the same for others. At the end of the day, I respect those who truly love Singapore, Singaporeans, and want the best for the people.

The smearing campaigns and the pointless spats on TV.. they were interesting to watch at first.. but I think I've had enough of it.

People have their own minds. We have a right to decide who we want to vote for. Stop telling us what to do/ threatening us if we want to do otherwise.

I have a lot that I can say about politics, but I guess I'll save the time because my views are probably boring to most as I don't feel strongly for/against a particular party.

The younger generation is definitely not as apathetic about politics as claimed by some people on TV. That is all I can say.

On an ending note to this exceptionally long post by me..

Happy belated 2nd anniversary to the favourite boy.