walk walk

listening to zhang shao han - aurora

went for a one hour walk with cs just now.. we walked the path the led to my old house and memories just flooded through my mind.. the path is still very familiar to me.. i walked to my old house and the purple door in my memory has become beige.. the kitchen window that was never opened by my mom was wide open.. the old auntie living below my house is hanging out lots of laundry as usual (poor maid).. so many familiar things that led me to wonder what would my life be right now if i hadnt moved..

we didnt talk much during the walk but i really enjoyed holding on to his warm hands.. we walked for quite a distance and we ended up at the 16th floor of the building that we used to visit so often.. the view up there is really beautiful.. i cant describe the beauty in words but i really love that place cause it brings back so much memories.. from sad memories left behind by jun to the happy memories that i share with cs.. so many things around me have changed but the place is still the same after these years..

we took bus 199 home after the walk.. its been so long since i took a bus from that bus stop..

ive been feeling down recently.. perhaps ive been trying too hard to make things work.. to make the both of us happy.. i will go mad with my bottled up feelings if this goes on.. ill try to take a step back and let things work itself out.. if the love is there.. we will be together no matter what happens.. if the love is gone.. we will drift apart no matter how hard i try..

quote of the day (from a friend) - i nv try to be happy.. hence im happy..