listening to mayday - ya guan

been having a pretty fucked up mind recently..

i know im supposed to be happy with the way things are now.. but i guess there are still times when i drift off too far into the memories.. this is one of those times when i start to think of him and go depressed..

but nevermind.. i know this feeling is gonna go soon.. and it will come back to attack me again god knows when.. its like a graph going up and down..

i feel so fucked up that i feel like biting everyone's head off.. of course the key words here are 'feel like'.. which means i havent exactly done something like that..

but running is still the best outlet for my fucked up mind.. went gym alone (pretty often nowadays since i cant find kakis) today and exercised the hell outta myself.. ran 8km on the mill.. 200 crunches.. lifting weights.. cycling..

legs felt like jelly after all the running and cycling.. i know it sounds like im torturing myself ( i guess it prolly is) but it makes me feel better.. what to do..

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and oh ya.. monday was spent shopping with mum since the passport making thingy ended up to be a very fast procedure.. went to carrefour at suntec and we spent like hours there.. i bet my mum couldnt wait to leave while i was going a bit cranky looking at all the FOOD..

and i discovered..

the apple tarts and PINEAPPLE TARTS (omfg my fav) is so frigging nice.. now i know where is the cure for my addiction to pineapple tarts..

and ya.. buying the big jar of pineapple tarts was my highlight (and possibly my happiest moment ) on monday..

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good part of tuesday morning was spent on doing up the presentation.. 2 hours on the freaking damn thing and its only half done.. someone kill me.. doing the slides for me would be fine too.. of course i would prefer the latter..

afternoon was spent at the clinic waiting for my ear jab.. happen to be in a room full of trainee doctors who were supposedly there to see the special case study (sad to say.. that happens to be yours truly..)..

apparently the growth on my ear is a odd one.. different from the usual cases.. heard something about it not supposed to be growing subcutaneously (which makes no sense to me of course.. subcutaneously? in the ear? crazy..)..

seriously that certain trainee doctor who said that have to learn to keep his mouth shut if he wants to continue being a doctor.. speaking out loud that the patient has got a weird location of cyst growth is like so dumb.. it raises alarms ya.. something along that line..

the doctor who was giving me the jab asked me if i mind them taking a LOOK at my ears..

what can i say? i was outnumbered by them..

hell if i knew TAKING A LOOK meant queuing up to plant their faces right in front of me while fiddling with my ears.. i would have said no..

it was so damn embarrassing man.. and ive got to mention that ive got very sensitive ears and i HATE people touching them..

argh.

i sort of understand how patients feel when we queue up to touch their veins now.. notice i said sort of cos being touched on the arm is nothing compared to THE EARS..

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nothing else to blog about.. cuse me while i go lie back and continue making myself depressed while drifting into memory land..