listening to jay - si mian chu ge

i am very very very badly injured right now.

as in blue blacks..

theres three on my left hand.. three on my right.. one on each side of my hips.. one on each knee.. two bumps on my instep..

i didnt understand why my whole body felt so painful just now.. didnt understand why i cant even hold the spoon properly when i ate..

all became clear when i was bathing.. freaking painful blue blacks at all those areas.. almost all of them are on my joints.. FUCK.

gym had to be cancelled today.. i think im out of action for the next few days..

i think a recap of what happened would be boring to people reading this as well as traumatising for myself.. lets just say that i made my first opponent cry and my second opponent made me cry..

looks like my endurance for pain is still not there yet..

i feel so sian right now. whole body aching as if im suffering from a very bad cold.. im surprised my bones havent dismantled themselves yet.. after all the running this week.. plus the thrashing today..

i think i really need a break.

break from running

break from training

break from school work

break from thinking of _____.

speaking of him.. i really think im stupid sometimes.. was coaching him for his match today.. then his opponent chased him to where i was sitting.. and.. he was falling down..

normal reaction for a coach would be to grab the chair and run away..

but i didnt..

BECAUSE id rather him fall on me than on the hard floor.

ya its stupid i know..

was laughed at by about everyone who was watching..

i think theres no cure for my stupidity sometimes..