not listening to anything

my second post for today.. within hours of the previous one.. i must be crazy to spend so much time here typing useless thoughts in my mind when i got more impt things on hand.. especially now that i cant rest my hands on the keypad cos its so badly swollen.. plus the fact that i cant rest my elbows on the table either because they are swollen too..

but me being crazy is besides the point..

i have been asking myself this question for the entire day and its causing me a great deal of agony because i cant seem to think of an answer..

and the million dollar question is *drum rolls*

...

...

...

why is he always there for me when i need him?

i think i can imagine everyone fainting after reading the question.. people usually ask the opposite isnt it?

i feel so divided really.. half of me feel inexplicably shuang when it happens..

but the other half mostly consist of me berating myself for feeling shuang..

i think its going to be impossible for me to forget him at this rate..

***

我想要学会自我催眠