Listening to Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong

i felt like dying outside my house moments ago.

shit day. in the literal sense of the word.

***

this morning, i woke up with intestinal spasm again.

then again, since the muscle relaxant never fails on me before, i still went out for work after popping one.

then on 198, the pain continued to haunt me. the attacks came in intervals every few minutes.

so i endured with the pain as it came, again and again and again.

when i got down the bus, i had to cross the damn 万里长城 to get to nuh.

the pain was so bad at one point that my vision just went black and there was this loud ringing in my ears.

couldnt even see where i was going anymore. but luckily 万里长城 doesnt have any steps. so i just flopped myself down the never ending slope.

dont ask me how i did it without my vision. i dont know. im just glad that i didnt faint.

***

reached the lab in one piece and told SL that im going to see the doctor.

got an MC and went back to my locker to collect my stuff. on the way to my locker, the attack came again and i just felt like going to the toilet BADLY.

i think all the cleaners at nuh can go be policemen/women.

THEY SYNCHRONISED THE TIME TO WASH THE FUCKING TOILET SIA.

all the toilets near lab med are being washed AT THE SAME TIME.

yes. all the toilets along the THREE corridors.

omfg.

gave up the idea of going to the toilet and went back to the staff lounge to wait for my intestines to cease fire.

rushed home the moment i felt better cos i dont want to suffer another attack outside.

**

reached my doorstep, rummaged through my bag and holy donkey.

my keys are nowhere to be found. and no one is at home.

i suffered a grand total of 3 more attacks while waiting for gramps to come home. all the while feeling the need to go to the toilet badly.

14 days of accumulated shit in me. and i had to bear with it for 2 fucking hours.

and when he came home, i dont feel like going to the toilet anymore.

and the first thing he said to me was to scold me for not bringing my keys.

wah lao. damn pissed.

***

i hate my GI tract man. i had to visit the doctor 3 times last week for constipation.

this week its spasm.

spasm <--> constipation <--> cramps <--> diarrhoea

i keep alternating between this few man. its dumb.

my last MC was for diarrhoea.

this one is for spasm.

ive had MCs for dysmenorrhoea and colic before too.

i hate this damn bloody stupid intestines of mine.

what can i do when the doctor says "theres nothing you can do about it".

fuck man.

fuck.