listening to gwen stefani - cool

the darn dreaded day is finally over..

and its a nice surprise to know that so many people remembered that its my birthday.. just want to say thanks to these people.. really brightens up my gloomy day a lil to know that im not forgotten..

*in order*

cuiwen, jialing, daniel, hui, han, ch, kaiyuan, gwen, jasmine, him, sop, peiyan, ada, kiat whye, chiuyen, ronald, yongjun..

see.. i got the ability to remember this kinda things in order but when it comes to exams......

and thanks to gwen for ya present.. i really like it a lot..

thanks to dear mum.. the bananachoc cake she bought for me was really yummy.. not to mention fattening (oo).. shes as cute as usual lah.. gave me a red packet because she didnt know what to buy for me..

nike socks mum.. any pair that ive mentioned that i like.. apparently she didnt get my hint.. =(

some digression.. I REALLY LIKE NIKE SOCKS.. argh. expensive and dumb thing to collect. but im weird i guess (used to collect batteries when i was young.. b-a-t-t-e-r-i-e-s..)..

nuff of degression.. *back*. all these helped to cure my recent depression a lil.. but i sank all the way back down my dark hole today..

took the same bus as him today while going back from ngee ann..

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY?

during the 7 weeks of school when we had to go back to sch for rehka's lecture.. i met him everywhere without fail for 7 FREAKING WEEKS.. purely by chance..

no matter how early or how late i was released.. no matter how long cy and i decided to stay for lunch..

i would always see him around without fail all the time..

anyone who tell me its fate would be killed and decapitated. i dont believe in fate b/w me and him anymore..

today was worse.. one of those days i wished i had a hole i could disappear into..

still feeling pretty depressed about my birthday thingy.. and i had to see him by chance today.. then he was with another friend.. and then they were like sitting behind me during the bus ride..

and.. and.. i couldnt help but listen to their conversation (its loud enuff lah).. stupid ipod had to die on me everytime i need it to save me from some shitty situation..

i dont know how to say it.. its just like.. if it were two strangers talking behind me.. i prolly wouldnt listen to their conversation although its audible..

i feel so uncomfortable from the car sickness.. the guilt of eavesdropping on a conversation made it worse.. was like squirming in my seat the entire time..

just didnt know what to do cos it was like so damn blardy awkward.. lucky thing was that i had cuiwen to msg to for company.. its a wonder how she always manage to understand how i feel..

***

i really wished i had the power to make myself disappear whenever i dont feel like existing in a shitty situation.. like the one today..