Happy piece of rot ^^

I've got nothing to complain about being unemployed at the moment because I've never ever felt so free in my life since I can't even remember when.

Free to spend hours watching dramas online..

Free to sleep without having to wake up to an alarm that is set at unearthly hours..

Free to go gym-ming and running whenever I want..

Free to lunch with gramps on non-dialysis days..

People have been telling me that I should pack my free days with lots of activities and such but,
that defeats the purpose of having a break isn't it?

I think I'm the kind of person who needs a lot of personal space and time. I've got no problems with being alone, rotting for hours in borders and hmv alone, sitting in a cafe watching the world go by alone.

Of all the closer friends I know, only Amanda and Diana are very cool with going out alone like that.

I'm very amazed at how some people would rather be seen in a crowd even though they don't really know the people in there. I'd rather be alone than be in the company of people I don't know well. I just can't imagine myself going " I LOVE EVERYONE and EVERYONE IS A FRIEND!! ".

That disgusts me even as when I type that out, I'm making a totally constipated expression.

And no, not everyone is a friend to me. I don't classify people as friends unless theres a certain level of depth in the relationship.

I totally feel depressed about the upcoming orientation camp even though its at the end of the month. I'm dreading it every single waking moment of my life right now.

Actually, life would be perfect if I don't have this stupid subconscious feeling of DREAD for the camp.

Yiting sucks at socialising. People might say that can't be because I've been working for 2.5 years. I might have to clarify that, working for 2.5 years have only taught me how to socialise with machines. Even then, they don't even listen to me (heck, they don't listen to anyone) at times.

In conclusion, working in a totally enclosed environment with machines has only made me more of a recluse than I originally was.

I wish I could stop time just so that I can remain in this carefree and commitment free life for just a while more before I start school.